okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
