just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
