so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
