Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
