Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
