should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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