is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
