I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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