I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
