Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
