This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
