You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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