We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
