I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
