so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
