ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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