No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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