Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
