I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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