I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
