I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize