Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
