Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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