She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
