Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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