can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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