At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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