Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize