That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
