11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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