My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You dont lie about slip and slides
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
