I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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