Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
