found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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