she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
