everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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