Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
