For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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