Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
