Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
