great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
