She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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