I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
