where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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