i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
