Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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