Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize