some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
