last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
