do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
