I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
