look no pants
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
