did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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