Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize