Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
