If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
