I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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