sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
