Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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