Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
