Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
