So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
