Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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