i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
