Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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