Fuck appropriateness.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
