so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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